Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Bad Daydreams


 

Damn…to go back in time…


 

the sad daydream

lapsed the dull time

between the books

and a lonely morning.


 

I can't count the times

that they told me

going back in time was out


 

of the question.


 

Every time,

back then,

when I went down into my soul

I wished those judging eyes

would close.

I could never enjoy

my heart and skin

without coming across those

scary scars.


 

I want time again,

against the wall,

I want to fight again,

to decide what's null.


 

I want the imagination back again.


 

again, again, again.


 

No more of my mother's anxiety

and my father's anger…

I want her optimism

and his dreams…

I want it all again.


 

When my father looks at me

with them drunkard eyes

I will look back at him

with the guidance he always looked for.


 

When my mother holds me

in her desperation

I will hold her back

with the strength of those before us.


 

And another hour elapsed,

what a sad daydream indeed.


 


 


 

John Dewey’s Experience and Education

Dewey: Experience and Education


 

    Once in my sophomore year of High School I was kicked out of my history class because my teacher thought I was being disrespectful during an argument we were having about the civil rights movement, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Cesar Chavez. Although now in my older years, I realized I could have reacted differently to the situation, however I think that it is prevalent to what Dewey talks about in Education and Experience. Before I get into the details of the actual event, I think it is imperative that other information is brought into the perspective.

    During my high school years I became three separate people. In school I was not the best student in the world and had many truancy and drug issues. I was attending a school in the north part of Seattle called Ingram High School when smoking weed and skipping became one of my most frequent ways to pass the time. Eventually I became involved with people who were thieves, drug addicts and violent, which lead to a physical encounter with a complete stranger in order to prove myself. My mother removed me from the school and enrolled me in a school in the south end of Seattle called Cleveland High School. I left a school with maybe 35% people of color and came to a school with 75% people of color, less resources and a decaying old building. The classrooms of course were over crowded and there were never enough text books for all the students in the class. My mother choose this school with the sole intent that maybe a good friend of the family named Alex, that was a senior that year at Cleveland, might steer me in a good direction. Outside of school I was involved in a community organization that did a multitude of services that included basic social services, child care, civil rights work, community involvement and youth leadership called El Centro de la Raza. At the same time that I was failing in my studies I became emerged in this whole another type of academia. The history of the Chicano movement and the Civil Rights movement intrigued me, as well as, motivated me to do community organizing work for various causes. One of those causes was establishing a community history course taught once a night through videos, discussions, presentations and guest speakers. I helped coordinate, lead discussions, and facilitate workshops. Alex was a good friend and fellow organizer for these community history classes and knew this side of my personality. When I was around him I turned into a motivated and caring individual, because I believed in what we were working towards. At home I became the third individual, a secluded person that preferred to write poetry all hours of the night and read fictional book after fictional book. My house was crazy with noise, people, arguments, yelling, screaming, heightened emotion or altogether depression. There was always a heap of housework waiting for me and a good argument with my father that always ended in tears. I escaped through poetry, drawing and reading.

    With all this said, Alex of course helped me to began a change within myself. I didn't care about school or what would happen to me when I skipped and got high, however he was my source of accountability. Taking me under his wing he introduced me to MEChA, a Chicano student organization that was dedicated to bringing the Chicano student into institutions of higher education, while still maintaining a connection with their community and families. The student organization is set up in a family like fashion that holds its members accountable to not just their motivation in the community but their motivation to succeed in the academic arena as well. Nonetheless, I started going to my classes and making a real effort to graduate after throwing away three-fourths of my sophomore year. While I was making this transition to caring I took a US history class with a very narrow minded woman, who came from a very conservative and stubborn viewpoint. We had a couple of days dedicated towards talking about the civil right era, which consisted of a few paragraphs about Martin Luther King, Jr and one paragraph about Cesar Chavez. We watched a video about the college life of MLK during the times he was a womanizer and irresponsible individual and touched little on his philosophies and civil rights work.

    One thing that I think I should mention is the fact that at the age of twelve, I began to study MLK's Strength to Love book, where he discusses thoroughly the concepts of nonviolent civil rights principles and action. I did not accomplish this on my own. I was part of a summer youth leadership conference were we took a chapter a week and did daily seminars on the philosophies brought up in each chapter. We would have to not only reflect verbally as a group, but we were required to keep a journal where we had to take a passage from the chapter on a daily basis and reflect on it individually.

    With this said, there was an overwhelming sense of disgust with my teacher's presentation of the civil rights era and I expressed it to her during our discussion after the MLK film. How exactly the conversation went or even the name of the video escapes me. I just remember raising my hand and telling her that it offends me as an individual that our class had to watch a video that virtually attempted at discrediting his work and dedication to a much needed movement in our society. I pointed out the one paragraph in our textbook of Cesar Chavez and said that offended me. The paragraph didn't talk about how many times Cesar had fasted, what he struggled for or even what kinds of discriminations and hazardous work conditions that agricultural workers have to face on a daily basis in order for us to have the fruits and vegetables that our in our stores and markets. That from that movement a whole generation of youth were born that began the foundations of Chicano history and movements that also swept the nation during the time of the more known "black movement." Her response was that I was being narrow minded for not wanting to discuss the "other part" of MLK's life and that the history that Cesar had contributed and thousands of other Chicanos in this nation was not significant enough to dedicate time to talking about in the history class. I admit to probably cutting her off and speaking in a very confrontational tone, however I never said one cuss word or used my body language to signify that I was going to become violent. She was overwhelmed that I was taking up her class time with an argument that would not result in us seeing each other's viewpoints. I was then sent to the principal's office, but instead cut out to the park with a couple of the homies.

    Another incident that happened at Cleveland was a more positive and motivating one. As you might have imagined, I failed the US History course because I just didn't go to class and didn't do any of the assignments. Eventually I found that I had to retake US history, but this time it was with a younger woman who was doing her student teaching at Cleveland for one quarter. We rarely used our text book, however had engaging conversations and debates surrounding US history. As a class project we had to pick an entity or person that had a significant impact on US history, specifically from the civil rights movements. This was one of the most motivating tasks I was given in all of my four years in high school. I had a wealth of options, however I choose a more intimate one. I chose to do the presentation on the community organization that I had been involved in since the age of nine. This organization has an amazing history and was a significant milestone to the Chicano Movement in the Pacific Northwest. In 1972, there was a English as a Second Language class being given to the community through Seattle Central Community College. The program's funding was cut halfway through the course, however the Chicano movement was already starting to emerge within the community of Seattle. The individuals that were apart of the ESL class had began to exchange ideals about leading a progressive movement to addressing the issues afflicting Chicanos in Seattle. There was a multitude of services that were not available to the Chicano community, as well as, a place they could organize around social and political issues. After being outraged by the funding cuts, they decided to take action and found resolution in an abandoned elementary school building in Beacon Hill. On October 11, 1972 hundreds of students, families and community organizers walked into the abandoned school building and began a 35 year-long struggle of social and civil rights work. They named the organization El Centro de la Raza, meaning the center of the people.

    At the end of my presentation I received support and admiration from both my classmates and instructor for bringing to light a history that many were not aware existed locally. The discussion ranged from people's curiosity of the work that El Centro de la Raza did to the possibility that the concept of racism is still being perpetuated in school and society. Even though there is always a sense of pride when the work you've done is acknowledged, it was a stronger sense of pride in the fact that I used all three personalities to effectively contribute to the knowledge of the classroom. My poetical talent with language was used in the presentation, I brought to light the organizing work I was involved in outside of school, and I was able to feel like I was part of the learning process of my classmates. This entire event began to empower my ability to contribute to the classroom and my own learning.

    In contrast to this empowering event, the original altercation I had with my first US History teacher was not motivating to my learning process and gave me a sense of disempowerment. Coming out of that classroom I felt that I was not a valuable member to the atmosphere of the classroom. Dewey states, "When education is based upon experience and educative experience is seen to be a social process, the situation changes radically. The teacher loses the position of external boss and dictator but takes on that of a leader of group activities." What my second US history teacher was able to accomplish was not only empowering me to be a learner and feel that my contributes to the class were valued, but also to appreciate her ability to orchestrate that process.


 


 

What is the word Chicano?


    The word Chicano involves more than just a cultural identification. There has been a continuity of a discussion of its origins, it meanings, its purpose and its affirmations throughout generations. Through oral histories, scattered essays/political pamphlets, Chicano studies courses and personal relationships, I have evolved my usage of the word Chicano, as many in history have. Through experience I have learned that social, geographical and economical elements have twisted and turned the meaning according to the moral judgments of the class or national origin.

    In this essay, I have connected my knowledge and my life as a Xicana to the word Chicano. I did this in order to illustrate the assignment's topic, in that outside factors have a significant effect on the usage and definition of a word. I will refer to the term Chicano to identify both Chicanos and Chicanas, in Spanish the masculine usage of a word is preferred in order to indicate both the masculine and the feminine. The usage of the "X" instead of the "Ch" will be covered later, but Chicano and Xicano are the same words pronounced, however signifies something different in written language.

    The term Chicano has signified something entirely different from before the age of thirteen and now. I had considered myself a Chicana, because that is what my mother and father had identified themselves as. The term for me was interchangeable with another term, Mexican-American. It wasn't until a mentor of mine provided me with a history of the word Chicano that I became proud of the term by which I identified myself with. He asked me, "Lisa why do you consider yourself a Chicana?" My answer was a simple, "because I am Mexican-American." He proceeded to tell me the history of this word and its connection to a political ideology.
    To explain what I learned that day and what I've learned since that day can be summed up in a quote by Ruben Salazar in an essay he wrote called "What is a Chicano? And what is it Chicanos want?" He states within the article, "A Chicano is a Mexican American with a non-Anglo image of himself." During the 1960's American society was influenced by movements that were fighting the political and social injustices of the time. The Chicano movement was no exception. During this time there were visible signs of "No Dogs or Mexicans Allowed" as well as a general sentiment of segregation based on racial and economic class. As the movement started to progress in the Chicano (or Mexican-American) community, identifying with the term Chicano became more widely accepted. Chicanos felt that as a nation, the history has had some significant Chicano influence that also needed to be recognized and taught within our school system. They also felt that the institutions that let this country function like law enforcement, government and education, were set up to systematically work against the Chicano. This was their way to identify themselves with the struggle against such entities.

    My uncle first told me a story about the origins of the word Chicano with the prime intent on steering me away from using the word to identify myself. He said to me that Mexicans joke about the history of the word Chicano through this story. In Mexico there has existed for long time a small population of peoples of Asian decent, primarily from Japanese decent. In Spanish the word for pig is Cochinitos, and after time the word became shortened, and Mexican farmers started to use the name chinito to refer to a pig. Chinito is also used to refer to people of Asian ancestry, primarily rooting from the term Chinamen which is Chino. Adding the "-into" at the end of Chino is slang to reference to something smaller than the original noun. Naturally the Asian-Mexican farmers became very offended by the connotation that their race was pig like. It is said that a Chinito refuted the Mexican slang term by calling his pigs Chicano which is a variation of the indigenous term Mexicano (Mê-she-kan-o). After hearing this story my uncle reaffirmed a point that was trying to be made: the word Chicano means pig. In Mexico, many Mexicans believe that the word Chicano is an ugly term to use when identifying one's cultural background. Chicano signifies a lower class of the Mexican. Those that are dirty or indigenous, two synonymous terms to Mexicans. Mexicans have felt that Chicanos are nothing more then sell-outs and traitors to their country of origin. Chicanos are affiliated with US born individuals that have roots in Mexico. These US born individuals have no sense of their Mexican culture, do not know the Spanish language and are a "disgrace" because their lack of knowledge of the history of the land that their parents come from. In regards to the history of Mexico, the most elite and purest Spanish blood held themselves in higher esteem then those with indigenous blood since the colonizer's mentality first plagued the soils of the Americas. Those that were of pure Spanish blood would consider themselves Casitllano, which would indicate their superiority as well as their economic class. Those that were mixed with indigenous blood were referred to as Mestizo, just a class up from the indigenous populations. Mestizo has roots in the indigenous culture, however was appropriated to Spanish language as well. The closer you got to indigenous terminology the more you were deemed of a lower class or altogether nonexistent to society.

    Another reason my uncle steered me away from using the word Chicano was its gang affiliation. In the 1940's, the word Chicano seemed to spring up out of very impoverished areas of Mexican-American neighborhoods known as Barrios. Mexicans, as well as US culture connected the word Chicano with another term called Pachucos, or zoot suiters. The Pachucho (a word that also has indigenous roots within the Mexica language Nahuatl) were known for their violent and drug-related activities. They would be today's Cholos or gang-bangers, however even though the gang culture has evolved from Pachuco to Cholo, the individuals immersed in this culture are still considered Chicano. Nonetheless, because of this affiliation, the word Chicano sparks up images of lowriders, prison life, tattoos, dickies, and other signifying cultural aspects of both the Pachuco and the Cholo.

    There is something important to consider before moving forward with an understanding of Chicano. Some of the items I've covered so far is that Chicano/Xicano has affiliations with: 1) a poor economic class, 2) political/social movements, and 3) it is also associated with a criminal social group of people that are marginalized or altogether ignored. However what has not been explicated very well is Chicano/Xicano as an indigenous term.

    The country of Mexico is named after an indigenous tribe called the Mexica (pronounced Mê-she-ka), that we know as the Aztecs. The Aztecs/Mexicas, along with the Chicimecas, the Mayans, the Incas, the Toltecs, and many others, were the nations that existed in Mesoamerica pre-colonial times. Mesoamerica is known as the region of Central America and the Southwest part of the United States (vaguely). The original inhabitants of Mexico became known as the Mexicano after the appropriation of Spanish masculinity to this term, which in English means Mexican. In one version, as mentioned in the story my uncle told me is the word Chicano (She-kan-o)is a shorter variation of the word. The Mexica, the Mexicano (Mê-she-kan-o), were the nation that controlled Tenochitlan, which is now Mexico city before the arrival of the Spanish. During the colonization period the term Mexicano not only developed with "ano" at the end but with a Spanish variation of how it was pronounced. The Spanish pronounced the "x" with a "ha" sound. So Mexicano became Mejicano in Spanish pronunciation, and in English the "x" became the English pronunciation. The Mexica/Aztecs used a language known throughout Mesoamerica as Nahuatl. The original pronunciation of the "x" in Nahuatl was with a "ch" sound, however this never carried over, other than through the streams of oral history and other salvaged codex (indigenous scribes recovered during the colonial period of the way of life of the Mexica/Aztecs).

    So why not just identify with the term Mexicano (Mê-she-kan-o)? Young Mexicans needed a way to signify their US experience as well as make a statement about their political and social ideologies of resistance and reaffirmation with their indigenous roots. Through oral history Chicanos came to accept that the term Chicano, spelled with an X, was actually a term used by the Mexica to refer to their children. To call oneself Xicano was to call yourself a child of the Mexica. Therefore, you claimed your indigenous roots and at the same time recognized that you did not fully understand the culture because of the loss through colonization.

    In 1969, students from across the southwest and northwest part of this nation came together in a conference in order to establish a political entity that could mobilize these ideologies. Out of the conference came a well known organization called M.E.Ch.A. (Movimento Estudiantil Chicanos de Aztlan, The Chicano Student Movement from Aztlan-Aztlan being the Mexica nation before the colonization period). They produced a political document by which all the organization's efforts should be based off of. The document was entitled "El Plan de Santa Barabara." In the document it talks about the political consciousness, this an excerpt from the actual document itself.
    "Commitment to the struggle for Chicano liberation is the operative definition of the ideology used here. Chicanismo involves a crucial distinction in the political consciousness between a Mexican American (or Hispanic) and a Chicano mentality…Chicanismo is a concept that integrates self-awareness with cultural identity, a necessary step in developing political consciousness. As such, it serves as a basis for political action…"

    To end this essay with a quote from an organization that has developed my understanding of the word Chicano and exposed me to enriching circles that reaffirm my indigenous roots was only appropriate. The word has evolved from a cultural identifier to a daily affirmation of my indigenous roots and history. To call myself Xicana has meant something different for a Chicana in 1969, its political and social contexts have changed with the evolution of struggles that we are consistently submerged in under a society with a colonizer's mentality still present. The influencing outside elements that signify the meaning of this word have also helped shape this word to mean something different today then it did 40 years ago. Without prolonging this essay further, the word is evolutionary, yet still maintains it defiant basis, as it will always.

        


 

Amy Tan’s “Two Kinds”

In Amy Tan's "Two Kinds" the mother and the daughter show how through generations a relationship of understanding can be lost when traditions, dreams, and pride do not take into account individuality. By applying the concepts of Julia Kristeva and other feminist thought, one can analyze the discourse Tan uses in the story and its connection to basic feminist principles. Jing-mei and her mother understand a symbolic language, however their semiotic language is very different. In fact up on realizing Jing-mei's "failure" to be a prodigy it causes her to reject that symbolic language and a double barrier is created to a healthy relationship with one another. By analytically approaching literature with psychoanalytical concepts, French feminists hoped to concretize some of the ways in which a patriarchal society manifest their system of power through literature. To put it more concretely, the story of "Two Kinds" seems to submit to an underlying attempt to resist the notion of male heroism, feminine confinement and other societal shackles that are put on the role of women in society. Jing-mei yearns for a sense of identity that is her own. She doesn't quite know what that is, however she knows its not what her mother wants her to be. Her rejection of an imposed identity relates to a space that is not allotted to her, which is needed in order to "find" herself. Her mother seems to be her antagonists creating the confinement.

    By targeting language French feminists were able to centralize the psychoanalytical concepts on discourse and its fusion with perpetuating androcentrism. In, A Practical Introduction to Literary Theory and Criticism, author M. Keith Booker relays Hélène Cixous , Luce Irgaray, and Julia Kristeva among the most prominent in French feminist critical analysis to examine discourse and it association. If one looks at literature as being derivative of society this might give a basis to the argument that the dysfunction of society could have a literary by-product in its literature. In Tan's story this can relate to how the manifestation of this inconsiderate competition between the two mothers is a direct result of an aggressive patriarchal society. Although this tool in literature has been used for the continual perpetuation of that dysfunction, it also gives those that are oppressed by that dysfunction a tool to focus on, take apart and utilize to counteract its function.

    As one might have already guessed, the two main characters are Jing-mei and her mother. Even though it was mentioned earlier that the mother seems to be the antagonist to Jing-mei, I believe that they both represent the protagonists in the story. Other characters such as Auntie Lindo and Waverly truly represent the root of the antagonist factor. The story begins with Jing-mei's arrival at the rejection stage of being the much wanted prodigy that her mother conjures for her. First the narrator dives into the heart of the issue with the mother's irrefutable belief that in America anything is possible. She goes further to bring in the antagonist factor when she mentions, "What does Auntie Lindo know? Her daughter , she is only best tricky." (pg. 1222, Charters) Already the mother has set up a false notion and uses connotative language that suggests a need to be this prodigy for reasons of pride and competition. The false notion that I find most destructive to Jing-mei's character is that no matter how high the bar is set, being an American gives you that inhumane ability to jump over it.

    To continue on with the point of this antagonist factor, the reader must play close attention to the narrator's resistance of it. "…after seeing my mother's disappointed face once again, something inside of me began to die…I made high-pitched noises like a crazed animal, trying to scratch out the face in the mirror…I saw what seemed to be the prodigy side of me…The girl staring back at me was angry and powerful…I won't be what I'm not." Cutting out the important semiotic language that is unique to feminist discourse, this passage exemplifies some of the main principles that Kristeva and Cixous target in the feminist analytical approach. Booker defines this semiotic language as "language that relies not on the direct expression of preexisting meaning, but on the creation of emotional impressions and effects, though sound, rhythm, and related techniques." (pg. 486, Booker) The narrator is defining the term prodigy as a unique sense of self, a powerful force within her character. The symbolic language, apparent to Jing-mei's mother, relates the term "prodigy" as something defined by a patriarchal society that decides what a feminine prodigy should be. The tension becomes apparent to the reader in this stage of the story, as well as, a sense of unique ideology of the feminist idea of heroism.

    Two elements give a solid argument to the idea of feminine heroism. One element is the fight that Jing-mei puts out to resist a notion of her own identity being imposed on her. This has an obvious denotation to feminine resistance in movements for equal rights. However, I feel the second element is much more complex and is connotative to the internalized struggle that feminist movements also struggle against. Through Kristeva's ideas of a symbolic order we understand how masculine thought has infiltrated itself into the relationship between the mother and daughter, with a dormant male presence in the actual story itself. Cixous takes this principle further in discussing, "the masculine emphasis on ownership, related to a fear of castration, results in a libidinal economy of give and take in which giving is always associated with debt and nothing is to be given without the expectation of something in return…Similarly the male author insists on having his name attached to his text, on receiving credit for his work, because 'if a man spends and is spent, it's on condition that his power returns.'" (pg. 92, Booker) This concept is related to the need for men to be continually given recognition for their literary works throughout history, whereas, women have not needed such recognition because they don't are not as accustomed with this masculine concept. To tie this back to Tan's story, the mother perpetuates this masculine ideology through a dialogue with Auntie Lindo after church one Sunday. Although the denotation of competition is obvious, the connotative language the two use suggests a need to compensate the hard work they put in to raise their daughters to be recognized through their daughter's achievements.

    Jing-mei is attempting to define a character of her own, however, because of the imposition of the mother she finds no such space in the relationship with her mother. Her mother does not recognize the imposition of her masculine ideologies and only wants what's best for her daughter. The mother has strived for the best after the hardship of losing everyone and everything back in China, and sees no reason that her daughter should be exempt from being the best. The conflict of semiotic language is in a way reconciled by the connotative gesture of giving the piano to Jing-mei on her thirtieth birthday. Something that I found inspiring in this story was the line, "I saw the offer as a sign of forgiveness, a tremendous burden removed…it made me feel proud, as if it were a shiny trophy I had won back." (pg. 1229, Charters) This reaffirmed for me an underlining theme, which was not to be the best to anyone else, but for her mother to see Jing-mei as a unique prodigy that was just as viable and not to be compared with anyone else. From a feminist perspective Jing-mei and her mother's character gives way to an important feminist concept: "Feminist literary criticism focuses on the relationship between literature and patriarch biases in society and on the potential role that literature can play in overcoming biases…literature plays a central role in the development of social attitudes toward women and of women's attitudes towards themselves." (pg. 89, Booker)

    On first attempting to understand the relationship between the title and the theme of the story, I thought the author explicitly made it clear in the lines, "Only two kinds of daughters…Those who are obedient and those that follow their own mind!" After paying particular attention to detail and language, with a feminist perspective in mind, I realized that the two kinds were in fact these two types of daughters, however the story's purpose was not to define Jing-mei as either kind. The story portrayed how, because of these two kinds, the mother and daughter had a difficult relationship and were only reconciled when they found this gray area which they could communicate with one another. That these "two kinds" were not be seen as a black and white issue, but as an issue of fusion in order to understand one another. Only in this mode could the relationship have some reconciliation.


 


 


 


 


 

Bibliography


 

Booker, M. Keith A Practical Introduction to Literary Theory and Criticism Longman Publishers USA, 1996


 

Charters, Ann The Story and Its Writer An Introduction to Short Fiction Seventh Edition Bedford/St. Martin's, 2007

“The Bone People” By Keri Hulme

One "Possible World" in The Bone People by Keri Hulme


 

    When I first started to explore what "possible world" I wanted to concentrate on for this essay I decided against concentrating on Simeon's or Kerewin's character because it did not create the emotional experience as did Joe's character. Joe's character seemed to jolt internal conflict about the systems of responding to abuse I was harboring. Later, after further thought the connection with Joe and another family member of mine who had abused someone in my family became even more overwhelming, especially since the family member who enacted the abusing was also named Joe and had similar traits as that of The Bone People's Joe. I thought of how this world that was being created through the story and my own experience with abuse was a significant connection, especially in relation to how we the readers create worlds and how this creation helps us to safely gain an educational experience about the world we experience that sometimes is not so safe to explore, or worse yet, not easy to even think about. However I decided against exploring a possible world though Joe's character, because after concentrated reflection of my notes I realized that the world being created in my mind was not through Joe's character, but through Kerewin's character in light of Joe's actions and Simeon's vulnerability.

    In this essay I have concentrated on three key ideas. The first of the three is this internal connection with Kerewin's character in response to Joe's abuse and her own development of character because of the abuse. In relation to Jerome Bruner's four levels of interpretation, the idea behind this response and development stems from the moralis, or the ethical. The word I would favor in this section of the essay is the moral development of me as the reader through Kerewin's character. The second item is directly related to the first but concentrated more so on the metacognitive development that occurred within myself because of Kerewin's character. The third idea deals with another level that Bruner talks about, which is the anagogia, or the mystical. I will not venture into this section as if coming from an entirely different interpretation of the story but in relation to the first idea. The ending of the story and its heavy concentration on spirituality gave not a sense of resolution but helped me as the reader gain a renewed sense of self through this experience and reflection in the first two ideas. There are significant ideas of spirituality that lead to a path of possible healing and understanding that experience alone does not give. These ideas are imperative on the basis that while reading The Bone People the world that appeared for me was important because it was reflective to my own personal growth as an individual in a complex society. I think this reflective process is the tool that we put in our kit in order to develop a sense of self in society, whether it be intellectually, emotionally or spiritually.

    I want to take us back to something mentioned earlier about the relationship to Joe's character. In doing so it might be easy to lose sight of the significance of the first key idea, which is my moral development through Kerewin's character . I would like to point out first that even though Joe's actions in the story triggered the connection it was Kerewin's responses to Joe's actions that created a world that drove the story to be an emotionally moral experience. The connection to Joe's character was with a family member who had the same name and a similar demeanor as Joe. When I was very young I was told a story of my uncle Joe, who had sexually abused two of his younger sisters, one of which was my mother. When the two sisters came to their mother about what had happened to them, both had been slapped in the face and blamed for the incident. I was told this story by my eldest sister because she did not want me getting close to my male family relations without supervision as there was another incident where she had been molested as a child by a great uncle on the opposite side of the family. It was intended by her to make sure I would not follow the same fate and I would feel comfortable talking to her if anyone touched me in way that made me feel uncomfortable. What preceded this story was deeper than just keeping me aware of safety issues with family, but it created a moral confliction about why this funny and gentle man that I remember from my youth had been put on a pedestal, yet was never confronted about the wrong doings in his life. My aunts and uncles thought my uncle Joe was such a great man, even though in real life he physically abused his wife and was a drug dealer. He was shot because of a bad drug deal and I still remember the day he died. He visited us the night before and the next day we received a call of his death. I remember watching the two sisters that he had molested at a very young age cry uncontrollably and grieve for him for a long time afterwards. Two or three years after his funeral I was told the story of what he had done. I remember being angry that everything was hidden away and forgotten. That all these years my own mother shed tears and revered him as a good man. My grandmother held the man in such high esteem and wouldn't allow anyone in the family to say one bad thing about him. Although this is an extreme case, the idea behind "forgive and forget" became a reoccurring theme in life, especially as it dealt with family. Was it wrong of my family to not say anything about his abuse towards his wife, or his drug addiction? As an adult why did my mother never confront my grandmother about her actions so long ago? I don't know the insides of my mother's mind and spirit, but it seemed as if she hid the memory in a far corner of her mind and forgotten it. I always wanted to ask her how she could love a man that was so abusive, but learned otherwise from discussions about why she decided to stay married to a physically abusive man. The response was always that this was the way things were. Once you were married there was no turning back, it was better to forgive and forget if you can.

    Kerewin's character responded to the abuse of Simeon through anger, first. Then she came to a sense of reason, that Simeon needed Joe and Joe needed Simeon. So then Kerewin's response was a possible solution where she would enact as the medium between Simeon and Joe. Joe would not be able to hit Simeon without Kerewin's permission. A rekindled friendship between Joe and Kerewin had sprouted after the fight scene, as if the abuse had never occurred. The actions were forgiven and forgotten, but not by Kerewin, but by me. Kerewin does not insinuate that she had not forgotten what Joe had done, especially at the bar, but she let it go. I, the reader, had started forgetting the abuse that Joe had inflicted on Simeon and concentrated on a possible deeper loving relationship between Kerewin and Joe. Then Kerewin lost her temper, her senses, after the guitar is broken and the medium that came between the abuse and sane punishment had evaporated. Joe had ruined everything, but why didn't Kerewin do what she said she would. I point out these occurrences in the story to relate to the internal relationship that I started to connect with in Kerewin. I added on emotions to her character because I felt like her, an outsider that could not make decisions for Joe. Something else occurred, something that I did not think possible, and that was this forgive and forget mentality. Joe and Simeon were each others family, they depended on each other more than anything. Kerewin decided not to say anything to the officials because she knew that. She, unlike the rest of Joe's family, did not decide to pretend it wasn't going on, but she accepted the things that Joe did and decided to move past them.

    In between all the turmoil of deciding what to do when she found out about Joe's abusiveness, and the emotions that were erupting after their return from the "vacation" she turned towards drinking as a release. Her solitude was more appealing then in the beginning, because the solitude along with the drinking represented an all too familiar self-taught protection plan from the complications of family conflict. I could not help but monitor the connection with Kerewin's need to be distant from the rest of the world in order to handle its chaos, to my own self-creating distance from those around me when I can't handle all its complications. Her hopelessness at the end of the sour event of Joe going to jail and losing custody and Simeon being in the hospital close to death was like swallowing cold and lonely life experiences. Towards the end of the novel, when she destroyed the tower and walked away to meet her death somewhere, I felt a sense of desperation come from her character. This desperation was confusing, because I don't know if Kerewin actually felt desperate, I wondered if it was me that felt desperate. Sometimes I wondered if it was desperation to turn back time and redo things or desperate that there was no solution that was morally right when it came down to it.

    This leads me to point out that my second idea of revealing metacognitive development through the story is already in play with the reflection of my connection with Kerewin's character. The questions that occurred while analyzing some of the situations that Kerewin was confronted with had me explore questions of morality that I had not explored because I felt incapable of doing so in the past. I have shown much in the area of metacognitive development that I've gained through the self-monitoring of my reactions and connection to Kerewin's character and Joe's actions. The self-correction is not as explicit as the self-monitoring. The idea of what the morally right thing to do is still in conflict internally, however the spirituality at the end of the novel does shed a beginning to a sense of self-correction.

    In the end I truly believe that Kerewin did not survive. There was too much implication that she decided to relive her afterlife in the shadow of her previous life. At the bottom of page 421 she distinctly indicates that a moth enters, touches her fingertips and Kerewin tells the moth to lay her eggs. She goes through a transformation that sounded so near death I can not see it as anything but her passing, in the midst of this passing she realizes that she loves life (pg. 423), mother earth, father sky, she loves all things like she had never cherished it before. With this choice to love life an "indeterminate" person arrives without known sex or race. This person gives her something to drink that in essence gives her back life. The renewed sense of hope and love for humanity at the end describes an important lesson that can not just be said, but must be felt in order to enact its true potential, and that is that even in the midst of our misery we must always cherish that that is around us. The unity of her family, of Joe's family, of Hana and Temote, of Simeon, this in the end is what is most important and needed in order to start a new beginning. The fact that I have been in turmoil about this confliction of what was the morally right thing to do when my grandmother found out her eldest son had molested two of her youngest daughters was not up to me to decide. It was my mother's choice to forgive her brother, and it was my family's choice to stay silent about these things. Throughout my life I have built a wall (or a tower) between those I love and myself because I fear the conflict they will arise inside me. I am conflicted about whether to see their choices as the morally right/wrong thing to do because ultimately I can do nothing about those choices. I can however choose to decide to maintain a unity with them. Coming to a sense of resolution of what the morally right thing to do is not as easy as following society's rules of conduct, but it becomes an even more harmful process to enter without a greater perspective of what is important. Maintaining the idea of what is most important in life, as well as rising to the occasion when it calls for difficult choices to be made is what makes our character, seeing it through the eyes of a fictional character helps us to practice at it with much lesser consequences.

“The White Heron” By Sarah Orne Jewett

"The woman's heart, asleep in the child"


 

    The story of The White Heron by Sarah Orne Jewett is one of innocence meeting maturity and this is vividly apparent in the allusions, paradoxes and language that Jewett masters. The story of young Sylvia and the symbolic nature of the white heron gives a unifying theme to the reader of the elements of Naturalism. Naturalism focuses on analyzing character, or human nature, through their relationship to their surroundings. Jewett takes the reader on an in-depth look at Sylvia's character, while coming to the age of maturity, as it relates to her surroundings. The title of this essay is Jewett's own words, the implication of using it as a title is one that speaks to Sylvia's journey to bring forth the woman that is within her during a time that society requests her to mature.


 

    A paradox of maturity and innocence is created during the scene when the hunter and the young girl venture to find the white heron alone. In this scene there are several sexual connotations that are heightened. Sylvia feeds into the hunter's friendliness and comes to admire him. This spout of emotion is described as, "the woman's heart asleep in the child, was vaguely thrilled by a dream of love. Some premonition of that great power stiffed and swayed these young foresters who traversed the solemn woodlands with soft-footed silent care." This is what ultimately leads to a determination to find the white heron's nest. This path can be symbolized as a path to her own innocence, which she desperately yearns to give to this young hunter. Combined with a romantic inclination for him is the added satisfaction of money. The hunter has already promised her wealth that she can not afford otherwise. With the illusions of romance and wealth she is persuaded to leave her innocence in the hands of his hunter thereby entering into the state of maturity.


 

    The allusion of the old pine has particular significance to the story. The old pine tree stands as, "the last of its generation. Whether it was left for a boundary mark, or for what reason, no one could say; the woodchoppers who had felled its mates were dead and gone long ago…" There is an allusion to an oppressor of nature, that human civilization dictates nature's survival. Similarly, this points to the necessity to stay secluded and hidden from humanity and is described in the behaviors of Sylvia and the white heron. There is a reoccurring theme of Sylvia's fear of humanity as well, it begins in the scene where the grandmother chooses Sylvia from her daughter's children to live with her she indicates with a smile, " 'Afraid of folks,' they said! I guess she won't be troubled no great with 'em up to the old place!' " This indicates that the grandmother, or mother nature, is providing a safe haven for the young girl to grow. The grandmother would provide a location where the detriments of the growing industrial society would be far from a reach at Sylvia. The old pine ends up being the only means to discover the bird's secret lair. This idea that the old pine protects the white heron, innocence, alludes to the grandmother protecting the young girl in her innocent stage of youth.


 

    There is a second paradox that is apparent in the contrast between gender roles in various situations. For instance, when the grandmother is talking about her son that has traveled a lot, and regretfully remarks, "I'd ha' seen the world myself if it had been so I could." This particular line referring to the restrictions of a woman's role. The irony of the situation is that she is relaying this to a young man who is free to romp about wherever he pleases to satisfy an urge to hunt and stuff prized birds. During the scene where Sylvia ventures alone with the hunter, she too is restricted by her feminine role. Jewett indicates this when she speaks of the child's grief of not finding the heron, "but she did not lead the guest, she only followed, and there was no such thing as speaking first. The sound of her own unquestioned voice would have terrified her--"


 

    The ending to the story metaphorically goes beyond her decision to the protect the location of the bird. It stems at protecting nature, which in turn protects her own innocence. She rejects society's inclination towards entering into an age of maturity by rejecting the hunter's inclination to kill and stuff the white heron. This theme gives Sylvia a sense of power that is not allotted by society.

What does Feminist literature provide for a male dominated society?


 

    This question is quintessential in literary movements throughout history that has called for a more inclusive literary study that speaks to all of society, not just the dominant few that have a history of oppression on their hands. If one looks at literature as being derivative of society this might give a basis to the argument that the dysfunction of society could have a literary by-product in its literature. Although this has been used as a tool for the continual perpetuation of that dysfunction, it also gives those that are oppressed by that dysfunction a tool to focus on, take apart and utilize to counteract its function. By analytically approaching literature with psychoanalytical concepts, French feminists hoped to concretize some of the ways in which a patriarchal society manifest their system of power through literature. By targeting language they were able to centralize the psychoanalytical concepts on discourse and its fusion with perpetuating androcentrism. In, A Practical Introduction to Literary Theory and Criticism, author M. Keith Booker relays Hélène Cixous , Luce Irgaray, and Julia Kristeva among the most prominent in French feminist critical analysis to examine discourse and it association with male theorists such as Jacques Derrida and Jacques Lacan. (pg. 90).

    In coherence with examining this by-product of sexism in our society, I have chosen two texts from which to reference. I will be contrasting and comparing "A White Heron" by Sarah Orne Jewett and "The Grave" by Ann Porter. Both of these short stories portray the resistance that feminist concepts give way to. The two stories each have the main character as a nine-year-old little girl who embarks on a journey that yearns for the two girls to come from a state of innocence to a state of knowledge about the world around them. Nature and knowledge seem to be key reoccurring elements in both of the stories, signifying some of the elements that the feminist analytical approach targets as a unique discourse of feminine characteristic. Being that both authors are female, it can be argued that an underlying attempt is submerged into the stories and it is one that resists the notion of male heroism, feminine confinement and other societal shackles that are put on the role of women in society.

    "A White Heron" is the story of a nine-year-old girl, named Sylvia, whose character becomes illuminated in her environment once her grandmother has brought her to live in the rural countryside. It is imperative that during the next few paragraphs we are able break down the events into sections to better analyze each significant stage that Sylvia undergoes. Marilyn Sanders Mobley points out in Folk Roots and Mythic Wings in Sarah Orne Jewett and Toni Morrison "it is useful to analyze Sylvia from three perspectives: her existence before her journey, her initiatory journey, and her return to the farm." ( pg. 50, Mobley) In the next several paragraphs I will be targeting the relationship with Sylvia to nature and how Jewett is able to resist masculine views of heroism, characterization and language throughout the story as well as in the conclusion.

    To return to Sylvia's initial scene after the move from city to rural, it seems she is content in the abundant raw nature that surrounds her. During a scene where the grandmother is describing Sylvia's connection to the natural world around her, she mentions "There ain't a foot o' ground she don't know her way over, and the wild creaturs counts her one o' themselves."(pg. 1590, Norton) This is testimony to the prevalence of the natural world Sylvia is surrounded by. Cixous' l'ecriture feminine associates women's writing "with the fluid, melodic language that is a natural result of feminine thought processes…" (pg. 481 Booker) To relate the last two comments more concretely, Jewett's poetical voice, imaginary order and reverse role of heroism (which I will be touching on later) directly correlates with the intention of Cixous when looking at literary works from a feminist perspective. Although American feminist have argued that Cixous' l'ecritue feminine falls into the perpetuation of patriarchal stereotypes and myths, this depiction of feminine character connected to nature is essential to a feminist perspective and is unique to feminine writers. (pg. 95, Booker)

    Support to this argument can be found in Jewett's story, particularly in the metaphorical war between nature and the industrial movement. The relationship between the oppression of nature by humanity's industrial giant is not an unfamiliar one to those women who work against the oppression of the andocentric society we have continually lived in. Sherman points out an interesting distinction of the natural and industrial world as it relates to freedom from sexist oppression in Sarah Orne Jewett An American Persephone. "The city is linked with manufacturing and the 'red faced boy' who chases Sylvia. In the woods, however, we have Mistress Mooly, the placid female 'companion' whom Sylvia herself now chases home in a friendly spirit. From confinement and masculine domination, she has found a peaceful freedom and bovine communion." (pg. 155, Sherman) The allegory of Sylvia's character representing nature is crucial the next several events that Sylvia undergoes.

    Young Sylvia's natural world is disrupted by the sudden appearance of a young male ornithologist scouting birds that he kills, stuffs, and then preserves for classification and study. The young man is searching for lodging for the night and hopes that Sylvia might lead him in the right direction. Sylvia then takes the young man to her grandmother's home, where her grandmother Ms. Tilley, provides lodging for the young man. After dinner a conversation sparks and the young man is made aware of Sylvia's familiarity with the natural world around them. He offers Sylvia ten dollars for the location of a rare bird (the white heron) that Sylvia has seen once in the woods. The allegory of the young male ornithologist takes form in these two scenes. First Sherman points out the young man's need to master the natural world through technology. Sherman points it out clearly in three stages: "…shooting the birds with his gun. Then he forcibly transforms their fragile, decaying bodies into the permanent, if lifeless, figures of his collection. Finally, he brings abstract rational order to bear on the apparently random flux of nature through his ornithological categories."(pg. 156, Sherman) It is imperative to recognize the industrial giant/technology as always being an unexpected and unwanted force on nature the same way a patriarchal society imposes itself on the female gender. This is highlighted when the reader recognizes the language Jewett utilizes to portray the young man's character as an unwanted intrusion that is marked by Sylvia's initial fear and need to evade him. It is also highlighted in the young man's unwillingness to "…observe or participate in the rituals of the landscape…"(pg. 50, Mobley) Here Mobley points out that, like the industrial giant, the young man is perpetually oblivious to the nature around him due to his obsession at finding the white heron. His character becomes insensitive, "The guest did not notice this hint of family sorrows in his eager interest in something else." (pg. 1590, Norton) The character of the young man becomes a metaphor for the andocentric ideologies that are oppressive to feminist. Sherman points out the offering of money and the usage of technologies emphasizes "the young man has money, the power to transform tangible realities into commodities quantified and suitable for exchange" (pg. 156, Sherman) To tie this together, with wealth and power, an insensitive male culture is able to exploit the harmony of the world he dominants, which is a significant point made in feminist movements.

    The next day Sylvia and the young man take on an expedition into the woods to find the white heron. The young man hopes to seduce Sylvia in order to gain more knowledge of his prized white heron. When the seduction occurs there are several poignant emotions that Jewett describes of the young girl, which directly leads the reader into the second perspective which is "her initiatory journey." (pg. 51, Mobley) Young Sylvia is thrust into a yearning for womanhood, which is depicted in the story "the woman's heart, asleep in the child" (pg.1591, Norton) This episode is important because of it's portrayal of a masculine device at using the innocence of a young girl's heart to obtain his needs. I will not go too deep into the language and poetical metaphors that Jewett utilizes to obtain this image, because I believe it is just a prelude to Sylvia's journey8 up the old pine, which is the focus of her journey towards knowledge and womanhood. After being inspired through a promise of money and a growing admiration of love for the young man, she remembers an old pine which could give her an advantage point at finding the heron's nest. She plots to get up before dawn to capture the location for her young ornithologist.

    At this point we must look at the significance of the connection between Sylvia and the White Heron. Mobley's book pays particular attention to the metaphors that Jewett uses to insinuate Sylvia and the White heron as synonymous characters in the story. "The journey she must embark upon is more an upward that an outward one, a direction that emphasizes not only the limits of her environment but points to her affinity with the bird…" (pg. 52, Mobley) This initiates the reader to think of the journey to knowledge as more of a flight applying bird-like characteristics to Sylvia. This flight also negates a traditional concept of a journey as a linear passage, which Mobley argues as a unique characteristic to feminine literature. Jewett continues with depicting the girl's actual physical characteristics as similar to the bird's, "with her bare feet and fingers, that pinched and held like bird's claws to the monstrous ladder…" (pg. 1592, Norton) Finally, it becomes necessary to analyze the final connection with the bird, "Sylvia felt as if she to could go flying away among the clouds…truly it was a vast and awesome world!" (pg. 1593, Norton) This signifies a crucial point where Sylvia has recognized her own independence through her flight up the old pine, her "vast and awesome" sense of the world has only been imitated by the transformation to a bird like character.

    Ultimately the concluding choice that Sylvia makes coincides with the last of the concepts that I would like to point out, which is the reverse male ideal of "heroism." Sylvia acknowledges her growth, and through that growth she recognizes the harmony that exists in the farm and with the White Heron. Transforming herself into a bird, she recognizes her need more than ever to protect it from the world that has caused her much fright and oppression. Sylvia preserves the natural order of things, however, it is not out of empathy that she does this, rather it is because she recognizes and appreciates what her natural world has given her. The natural world of the farm has preserved her freedoms from the oppressive male society that dictates her role, this role that consistently limits her desires of exploration. This translates to reverse masculine ideals of heroism because of the symbolic idea of heroism that we are fed in fairy tales such as Cinderella. In stories such as these the male hero is usually one that rescues the damsel in distress from economic and social factors. In this story the young male stranger offers money and love, two qualities recurrent of male heroes. Sylvia rejects this ideal, and creates a new sense of heroism through the preservation of the world that preserves her individuality as a woman.

    "The Grave" is the story of a nine-year-old girl named Miranda and her older brother Paul out on a hunting trip. She lives with her father, and both her mother and grandmother have past away. Miranda, along with her other sisters, seem to engage in boy-like dress and activities that cause some stir within the town, who do not think this behavior appropriate. There are two key elements that tie the two stories together from the beginning. The first element is nature, the second being that nature (hunting) is another masculine activity that brings social disapproval, it is useful to remember that exploration of the world was not permitted to their gender as Sylvia's grandmother points out in her conversation about her son. Porter describes this, "Miranda, with her powerful social sense, which was like a fine set of antennae radiating from every pore of her skin, would feel ashamed…" (pg 365, Harcourt) Both the shame that Miranda feels, and the fear that Sylvia feels ties into the results of an oppressive society that wants to confine them to their social roles. This also ties in with "A White Heron" in that both the rabbit and the grave become metaphors for life, death and the sexual reproduction from which she has little knowledge of and experiences for the first time. Even though the journey seems to fall into the linear version of a passage, the story still ventures from innocence to knowledge.

    The story begins when they encounter an empty burial plot, which was previously owned by their grandmother and held the body of their late grandfather. Hartley brings a out a crucial point in, Katherine Anne Porter A Critical Symposium, "…the children began to play in the cemetery. They tried to simulate what they felt would be adult emotions and they failed." (pg. 81 Hartley) The language of Porter reaffirms this statement as well as pinpoints a golden moment of discovery as laid out here, "they were seeing a new sight, doing something they had not done before." (pg. 362, Harcourt) Paul finds a ring and Miranda finds a small angel that was a screw-head for their grandfather's coffin. They are intrigued by each other's findings and decide to switch treasures. The young Miranda is mesmerized by the golden ring that she puts on her thumb and instantaneously begins to feel like conforming to the idealized feminine characteristics that the town would like her to engage in more often. This element takes us back to Sylvia's fascination with the promised ten dollars from the young stranger. Although I am not definite about the intention of the author in "The Grave" I feel that it is curious that she utilizes a material object that represents wealth as a symbol that evokes Miranda to want to play into her feminine role. To compare the stories further, the ten dollars is also an added part of the seduction that Sylvia feels from the young ornithologist.

    She is interrupted from her fantasies by her brother, who shoots a rabbit. He skins the rabbit and then notices that the rabbit was pregnant. Porter carefully describes how the boy removes the pouch and reveals the tiny unborn babies that were hidden in the mother rabbit's stomach. After the uneasy feeling is bestowed upon the two, the brother buries the body of the rabbit and makes Miranda promise to keep the episode a secret. Miranda does not remember this until twenty years later at a market in Mexico. The smell of candied-goodies and raw fish bring back a swift memory of this past, which she leaves quickly solely remembering, "…her brother…standing again in the blazing sunshine, again twelve years old, a pleased sober smile in his eyes, turning the silver dove over and over in his hands."(pg. 368, Harcourt)

    Both stories speak of gender confinement and identifies the destructive qualities of oppressive patriarchal systems in society. The two young girls defy these systems in their own way, however both accomplish a sense of identity. Through these two literary pieces one can find a voice that is unique to feminine writers, and also two episodes of a rite of passage, from innocence to knowledge, that is also unique to feminine experiences. If one truly looks at the two stories in-depth, they find a variety of understanding of how detrimental oppressive societies can be on the development of our young females. On the upside, it also shows the strength and courage that they gain through this process of understanding the world around them.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

Bibliography


 

Booker, M. Keith A Practical Introduction to Literary Theory and Criticism Longman Publishers USA, 1996


 

Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc New York The Collected Stories of Katherine Anne Porter Katherine Anne Porter, 1965


 

Hartley, Lodwick and George Core Katherine Anne Porter A Critical Symposium the University of Georgia Press, 1969


 

Mobley, Marilyn Sanders Folk Roots and Mythic Wings in Sarah Orne Jewett and Toni Morrison, The Cultural Function of Narrative Louisiana State University Press, 1991


 

Norton & Company New York/London The Norton Anthology of American Literature Shorter Sixth Edition W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2003


 

Sherman, Sarah Way Sarah Orne Jewett, An American Persephone the Trustees of the University of New Hampshire, 1989

Personal Statement for my application to The Evergreen State College

My name is Elisa Miranda, I am fourth generation Chicana that was born and raised in Washington state. My identity as a Chicana is directly related to my personal experiences, as well as, my political and social convictions. I am the youngest of four, the only female to graduate from High School. I am the first to obtain a college degree and attend a four year institution of higher education. Both my parents were Migrant Agricultural workers born in Texas. Since the time of my birth my parents have been active advocates for Agricultural Workers' rights. My mother jokes that my first political meeting was at six months, advocating for funding for a migrant day care center, during the times she worked closely with the Washington Migrant Council in Eastern Washington. When I turned eight, I became actively involved in a leadership development program at an organization called El Centro de la Raza in Seattle, Washington. This organization is unique in its principles and connection to the community with which it serves. In the fall of 1972, the Chicano community of Seattle occupied an abandoned elementary school building after the funding for an ESL program had been cut at Seattle Central Community College. Before the program was cut students, families and community members had convened to discuss the detrimental issues afflicting the Chicano Community of Seattle. Thirty-four and half years later the organization is still a conviction to the efforts of those that occupied the building during one of the coldest winters Seattle has faced, and I have been fortunate to be embedded in the organization's history at such a young age. Since the first time I entered the doors, I was exposed to leadership circles that developed my organizational skills, my historical knowledge of the plights of the Chicano community, and most importantly I found my voice as a poet. My first poetry reading was at the age of ten, after our poetry youth group had been published in an anthology called "Word Up!", and from that point on I participated in numerous other performances. These performances, as well as the poetry that I wrote, centered around the social and political issues that I was becoming aware of. Although the skills and knowledge were abundantly being past down to me, there was still the personal economic and social difficulties that I was faced with. During my sophomore year of high school I became less involved with my academics, and more involved in self-destructive habits. The neglect of my academics soon caught up to me and my own school counselor did not see any hopes of graduation for me. A close friend that had worked along side me through the political activities I was involved in at El Centro de la Raza took me under his wings and introduced me to an organization that saved me from dropping out and help me form a sense of personal strength and identity. At the age of sixteen I became involved in MEChA, which stands for Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano de Aztlan (the Chicano Student Movement from Aztlan). I learned that being Chicana did not signify me as a Mexican-American, but proudly announced that I was a conscious woman of color that would resist assimilation and embrace the true history of my people. Although this might seem a repeat of the knowledge that I received at El Centro de la Raza, this became an academic sanctuary and a foundation to stand on while immersing in an educational system that denied me of my true history, of literature that came from a perspective other than that of a Eurocentric perspective. They were a group of students, like me, that felt something within our educational system was wrong. Without the continual support of El Centro de la Raza and MEChA I would not have been motivated to graduate high school, let alone consider college an option. My college history has had major bumps in the road as well, which has both taught me valuable lessons of life and gave value to the education that I have received. This is my first year in a four year institution, and it has been a difficult one. I have expressed some of the lack of identification with the curriculum I am exposed to here at Central Washington University to fellow Mechistas, and was encouraged to look at the academic programs available at Evergreen State College. After much consideration and review, I believe that Evergreen can offer me a valuable exposure to my field of academic interest, more so, then I feel any other institution might otherwise. The programs are designed to speak to me as an individual, not as a standardized framework from which my cultural identity is extracted. Thank you for your time in considering me as a perspective student and I hope that this statement is testimony to my ambitions to attending your institution.

What constitutes love?


 

    "Desiree's Baby" by Kate Chopin is a short story fiction piece written in 1893. This story catalyzes emotional response, creative imagination and the reader's evaluation of human consciousness and awareness through the semiotic symbolism, the phenomenological analysis and a horizon of expectations. In the reader-response critical approach the reader connects with gaps and symbols in the story and fills them with pre-notions of how the social structure of their interpretative communities have trained them to see them filled.


 

    To begin this approach the reader begins to look at the semiotic usage of certain symbols that give rise to an emotional response that the reader continues throughout the story. This is not to persuade an overall theme, however illustrates how the symbols ignite a similar emotion in the reader that is coherent throughout. For example, in the first four paragraphs of the story the symbol of the stone pillar is indicated twice to relay two significant times that Desiree is "discovered" in the story. The first time she is discovered at the stone pillar is when she is an abandoned toddler. She is found "lying asleep in the shadow of the big stone pillar." A stone pillar is a stern and unemotional figure. The purpose of this stone pillar was to act as a gateway to the home of Madame Valmonde. There is a contradiction to the gentle affection that a baby creates within a human being and the cold lack of affection that a stone pillar creates. However both enact as gateways for Madame Valmonde, the stone pillar to her home, and Desiree to her heart. The stone pillar is utilized again with a contradicting emotional reaction of sternness and admiration. The reader, apart of an interpretative community that socializes us to relate the image of the stone pillar with a prestigious class, connects Desiree to the indifference of emotion that is associated with this class status. She becomes one with the image of the stone pillar, but this is contradicted with the strong emotions of love and her character. Earlier indicated the reader brings with her a sense of Desiree's gentleness and sincerity which we have been socialized to see as ideal features of woman-ness. The uniting image of prestige and beauty "struck" Armand into a state of admiration for her.


 

    To go further into more apparent gaps in the story the reader is forced to question the character of Armand. "Young Aubigny's rule was a strict one, too, and under it his negroes had forgotten how to be gay, as they had been during the old master's easy-going and indulgent lifetime." The narrator does not indicate why there is a contradiction of character between the generation of the father and the generation of his son. This contradiction is especially apparent in the matter of the dealings with the slaves. Armand's fretful mannerisms are also indicated later in the story as well, "when he frowned she trembled, but loved him." The reader is left with a gap in the story with the character of Armand. The only information we have of his upbringing is that he grew up without a mother in the latter part of his childhood because his mother dies when he is eight. The interpretative community that the reader arises from is socially conditioned to relate the lack of affection towards his slaves, and his stern demeanor, as the result of a lack of maternal affection growing up. However, the ending of the story, as well as a reference to this skin color, negates this conclusion. Desiree mentions, "…seizing his wrist. 'Look at my hand; whiter than yours, Armand,' she laughed hysterically." The ultimate conclusion of his mother being part Black indicates that the hate might arise with a realization of similar subtle physical features to his slaves. Armand does not understand this connection and despises himself and the slaves for it. The obvious reasons Armand would despise a connection is poetically constructed when the mother mentions in the letter that he "…belongs to the race cursed with the brand of slavery." He, therefore, might act more cruelly due to the fact that there is a discontent and ambiguity within himself, and this he might scapegoat with anger towards his slaves. In reevaluating how the reader is to fill this gap, one might wonder what other incidents might have stirred a hate towards his slaves. Creatively inventing an episode, I thought the skin tone might have played a larger role then the reader might first interpret because the lack of centralization on this factor. During the summertime, when skin tone is prone to darken, this might have caused some taunting from his fellow playmates. Physical features that we are teased about when we are young develop into insecurities. When we rise to adulthood, these insecurities carry along with us and we are prone to despise them in others because we have trained ourselves to despise them within ourselves. This might indicate that he might have despised the slaves to such a degree due to the fact that they carried the same features he had grown to hate of himself.

    To conclude, as a reader, I am given only a handful of information about the characters and the settings. This lack of full perception and ambiguous detail antagonized my own creativity of understanding the human consciousness. What started off as a story that might have strived at relaying a theme of karma, went further to analyze what social constructs my own consciousness lies in.

The Green Collar Economy by Van Jones

    Van Jones was able to deliver an abundant amount of information that is very vital to the reader without losing the appeal of the average person. Whether the reader is relatively fresh to the idea of a green economy or actively engaged in creating a green economy, Jones provided a wealth of solid arguments to get the readers thinking about the issue from all view points of society. The idea that we must understand the need to create green collar jobs to improve the economy and make green energy accessible for the lower classes as well as the middle and upper classes is a revolution in itself.

Here Jones begins with the economic value behind creating a green-collar economy in the reality check chapter when he states, "In 2006, renewable energy and energy-efficiency technologies generated 8.5 million new jobs, nearly $970 billion in revenue and more than $100 billion in industry profits." (pg. 5) Jones goes further into defining it for the middle class view point: "My definition of a green-collar job is this: it is a family-supporting, career-tracking job that directly contributes to preserving or enhancing environmental quality…We must ensure that all green-collar-job strategies provide opportunities for low-income people to take the first step on a pathway to economic self-sufficiency and prosperity." (pg. 12)

Jones does not stop at the economic value, but he also incorporates the ecological value when he brings in the real life ecological devastation of Katrina. Reading the story of Larry and Lorrie brought me back to the horrifying stories that were being reported, at the same time Jones did a terrific job at keeping my mind focused not just on the inhumanity of how our government responded but the dire need for a green-economy. Jones elaborates far more concisely here, "Stories from Katrina's aftermath demonstrate that the issues of poverty, climate destabilization, petrochemical poisons, and the vulnerabilities of an oil-based economy are not just petty obsessions of the politically correct crowd." (pg. 22) Jones deepens the guilt within my own heart as he continues to equate the real situation here: "The dollars that could have saved New Orleans were used to wage war in Iraq instead, a war undeniably linked to our dependency on the region's oil." (pg. 23) These two quotes hit two key points that Jones is making in the book and targets in his title, which is a green economy is essential in trying to survive our economy and our livelihoods on this earth.

While reading I couldn't help but notice how much he didn't fall into the blame game, as many liberalists tend to do, but gave clear connections through viable information without losing the reader in the process. Jones also continues to avoid the blame game and bring to light the effects of poor policy making here: "The catastrophe of New Orleans was not the result of a deliberate act of malice…however, the logical, necessary, and inevitable outcome of the kind of politics that both major parties have been promoting for two decades. In was a concrete manifestation of a mentality that says that we are not, in fact, our sisters' and brothers' keepers." (pg. 69) Even more shocking and tragic were his direct points here: "…Iraq all added up to one thing: a government too hollowed out to competently perform its basic functions in a crisis…The truth is that George W. Bush's presidency drowned in the floodwaters of Katrina." (pg. 69-70)

    

Contradictions


 

It has been so long

Since I smelt burnt sage

And evergreen rain

The harmonious couple dancing

Smoke and water

Into this warrior's concern


 

I take this embracing cold rain

And salvaged smoke

Fevered with the possibility of change

On these ragged streets

Pavement and pine needles

Served as my training walls

I do not believe

That we have disposed of savage inequalities

From education to innate possibilities

My people are still being choked


 

This smudging supernatural sight

Attacks strategy bare and composed

With a mission of victory without tragedy

One should take notice to the universe

Bending towards the side of justice

The fight lies in self-direction

And poise at times of anger and rage

Yet more so, justice carries with such persistence

When it is not ill affected by one's own dramas


 

I am torn of my revolution

Because of one bronze skinned Xicano

Crazily he laminates a young girl's skin

To encroaching tortures

Known only to broken hearts alike

The conversations between our hearts is crisp night air

And only the morning glory can see the taking of my hair

That is not a cliquish romance of salsa dances

And Latin lovers

It is a romance of ideologies and power

Eminent elements of seduction

This is a matter of contradiction of struggle and love

Infringing on my means of arriving at an end

Dressing for the revolution


 

Señora, excuse me…

But I wanted to ask you…

If you could teach me how to dress for the revolution?


 

Emma,

Xicanita de San Antonito,

Strength in fist

And rippling effect

In a crowd's heart

There was no stopping your evolutionary mass movement.

Such a small body

To put men of great wealth

Into a fearful state

I want to wear your black and white dress in front of some steel bars

I want to wear your hair slicked back and ready for unionizing wars

I want to wear your determination

I want to wear your eyes that speak of an inner revolutionary mind fold

I want to wear the revolution como la mas chingona

I want to wear the revolution like Emma Tenayuca


 

Señora, excuse me…

But I wanted to ask you…

If you could teach me how to dress for the revolution?


 

Minerva,

Maria Teresa,

And Patria,

Las tres mariposas of the Dominican Republic

Solid stance against an unspeakable brutality

Beaten into the arms of death

By the cold, human-less hands of Trujillo

I want to wear your wings so that I can spread revolution from the air

I want to wear your resistant rags in the cell that was meant to strip you of your fever

I want to wear your irrepressible spirit even with the lives of your sisters at your side

I want to wear the revolution como las mariposas

I want to wear the revolution like the Maribel sisters


 

Señora, excuse me…

But I wanted to ask you…

If you could teach me how to dress for the revolution?

Friday, May 8, 2009

Remembering a time


 

Little dedos reach out to me

Softening all chaos

Transporting me into a world I once was in.

My father had a different car

For every period of my childhood

The blue Bonneville,

That you could only open from one side,

And with a hanger at that,

For the days I attended catholic school

How ironic,

That like those cars,

My memories sit in a junk yard,

Exhausted and dirty sight to those

Who don't know the life behind each one.

Monday, May 4, 2009

In This Land No More


 


 

In this land no more

will peasant and Indian

suffer individually.

In this land no more

will man and woman

fight for the same

and different causes.

In this land no more

will mal goberno

bleed our spirits dry

and force us onto lands

with desolate and ungiving soil.

Lands that have skin-burrowing insects

that do more than poison our health.

Lands with no hospitals,

running water, education.

Lands were they can ignore us.

Lands were they hide us from the world.


 

Zapata Vive, Vive!

La Lucha Sige, Sige!


 

Our masks swallowed our faces

so that we can be mirrored in every pueblo

that you exploit and ignore.


 

We will no longer hide,

we will no longer sit quiet

while you deceive us time and time again.

Your laws do not feed us,

your elections rip our lands from underneath us,

and your authority only leaves dead carcasses

and deeper poverty.


 

We are more than armed revolution,

we are more than the land of Chiapas.

We are the exploited, the sick, the hungry,

the uneducated, the oppressed people of

colonization, capitalism, and many other names

but all the same form of greed and power.

In this land no more will we fight separate,

In this land no more will we allow our fight to be heard just by the sky's ears.

In this land we will reach across nations to be one solid voice

against your oppression.